Where Did Time Go?

It seems like yesterday when I was changing this little girls diaper.  This little girl was my tomboy as a 4/5 yr old.  She would carry worms around and scare me, bring me flattened dead road kill from the woods and yet still want to paint nails and do hair.  I look back at pictures and videos of her growing up.  That squeaky little voice fighting with Spencer or luring Hunter to do something. 


The middle school years brought all of us to tears.  I was amazed at how cruel other girls could be.  I personally never heard the comments when  was that age and older but I had my fair share of teasing through school.  I hated school because of that.  So here I have to watch my daughter get teased.  I remember one time when a girl picked on my daughter because she had a little bit of darker hair above her lip in the corners.  She would pick and pick on my daughter.  I finally had enough of it because every day she would get off the bus and cry.  I confronted the teacher and told her we need to find a solution to make this stop.  I loved this teacher and so did my daughter.  She assured my daughter that the hair was hardly noticeable and look I have it too!  This little girl had no right to be that way towards me daughter when it was mentioned how she has beady little teeth you can't see because of her braces. 


High school didn't get any easier.  It only proved that these same girls only got meaner.  The sad part is that these were supposedly friends.  I was raised and my children were raised that you don't invite yourself to places.  You must be asked.  There are certain manners you must use and be proud of to push you forth in society.  High school dances were always the time of year I dread.  My daughter was to go with friends to homecoming and just days prior was informed that they now were going on a limo bus and there would not be room for her.  I had to pick up the pieces and the two of us enjoyed a dinner together.  It was so hard not to want to go chew these girls out for being rude and inconsiderate! Plans were made for another event right in front of my daughter and they didn't even include her.  She was told that she needs to be a b....ch and invite yourself.  Really?


College bound and we were hopeful that things would get better....little did we know it wouldn't.  The boys were just the same with one thing on their mind.  Her first year of rooming wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.  She bunked with a really nice girl.  The next year about the same.  We learned some valuable lessons during those couple years.  Don't light birthday candles in the lobby...it gets you in trouble lol.  Moving out of the dorms sounded like a great idea...and probably was for a short while.  I think the hostility one roommate showed was enough that I was close to getting a PPO out against that person.  And the person who I thought was one of her good friends just sat by and let it happen.  Really? ugh... So up we go again to move her out and into the dorms.  Should of just stayed.  Lesson learned :)  

Beauty of Life

So many thoughts run through my head.  I know I will offend someone with this posting...but it is not my intention to do so.  It is only my intention to make awareness of thinking before your posting.  It has bothered me from the moment I read the post and I can't seem to shrug it off.  Maybe it was because I was one of many young girls growing up feeling awkward with my looks and my body.  I didn't ask to have more than my fair share up top.  I didn't ask to be teased because of it.  I to this day struggle with the fact that I don't fit in and I don't belong when it comes to my outer appearance.  How sad that I can not accept how God created me.


Our teens of today can not seem to think or look outside the box.  As parent's we need to encourage them to see how their comments might make someone else feel. That their actions sometimes also speak more loudly than their words.  I don't understand how many of these teens think it is acceptable to put up with a boyfriend or girlfriend who goes against everything they believe just because that person is popular.  It is right to put up with someone who smokes pot?  Is it right to put up with someone who parties and drinks all the time?  It is right to put up with someone who cheats on you...unless that is part of your agreement that it is fair for both of you?  I hear about this from so many teens and how many of these teens think that other teens in these relationships are such fools. Good for you for realizing it.  I was going to go further with this but decided it will do me no good to do so.  


The beauty of life gives us the opportunity to be an amazing living being.  It is up to you to choose wisely and live the best life you can live.  Some people do all they can to try to live the best life they can but seem to get knocked down over and over again.  How many obstacles do they need to overcome before that one obstacle allows them to continue on with improving themselves?  I know we think that life is unfair.  We ask many times......Why Me?  We are always told that God only gives us what he thinks we can handle.  I have been touched by so many people that can ask this same question and are battling enormous obstacles right now.They are excepting what was dealt and moving forward.  I give them such huge kudos.  I don't know how they are doing it.  


I guess I have rambled in this post.  I can't seem to focus.  The many thoughts running wild in my head are keeping me from staying on track.  Welcome to my world.  It is like this all the time.  I guess since this is my blog and I can ramble however I want...right?  I change subjects all the time and drive my husband crazy.  Sometimes he can't seem to keep up.  I really think I have adult ADHD.  I have learned that I need to really think before I post..thus why I am not posting on Facebook unless it is to my kids, business...or a friends post that is a positive comment.  I can't risk letting my feelings blow me up.  


So to close....respect yourself....respect those around you and treat others as you would want to be treated.  

Life's New Journey

A new journey has begun in my life. I decided that I needed to take a new direction in my life and actually opened myself up and am letting myself be guided in the direction I need to be going.  I have struggled over the years and have let others lead me into their direction or push me into a new direction.  Well that time has come for me to stand up and move in my direction.  I will be 50 in a few years and have realized that more than half of my life has gone by and what do I have to show for it.  I have the marriage...I have the wonderful kids but what do I personally have to show for my time on this earth.  I am a true believer that you are to do for your community and for others.  I am not one who focuses on herself.  That is not what I feel life is about.  I always think...what can I do for others.  Do I have something I can offer them?  Is there something I can do to ease their pain? I stand up for what I believe in and will fight with every ounce of energy I have for that cause.  In my new journey...this will not change and I will not be thinking...what about me.  However, I will be taking a little more time for myself.  I will try not to feel guilty for doing something I want to do.


I recently joined a faith based company.  I am loving every minute of it.  It started out that I was drawn to the product, the colors and the style.  I had no idea when I was pondering the idea of becoming a consultant that this was a faith based company.  Once I joined I understood this.  This is where my new direction came to shine on me.  I joined in March..I so wanted to join before Christmas because I wanted and needed more income.  I knew this wasn't going to be possible because I was working about 21 to 22 hours a day during the holiday season with baking cookies.  I couldn't even imagine having time to go to other people's houses to sell this product.  In the back of my mind...I kept wishing and hoping I could come up with the  $99 to order my kit.  But then I thought...when do I have time to do shows?  I don't.  Then one day it just happened.  This is the week.  I know I need to start this now.  I attended my first meeting before I was signed up. I felt like this is what I need to be doing.  I left that meeting ready...just a few more days and I would have the cash to do it.  Yay!! I finally signed up. Went to my next meeting just a couple days after the first meeting.  Absolutely loved the energy from the other women.  I wished I lived closer to these women because I was drawing from them.


Well as of today, I have no regrets in my decision to join.  I have had 8 successful parties and it is allowing me the ability to contribute some funds for our family.  Because you see...I have felt like a freeloader because my husband works these long long hours and I am home.  Grant I am busy when home...going with my Mom to her dr. appts, baking, cleaning etc.  I know that due to my back injury I sustained at a previous job about 6 yrs ago that I couldn't work a normal job.  This is allowing me to contribute to the family...help in some fundraisers for those who need medical assistance and giving me a chance to be proud of something I am doing.


If I can share anything today it would be to open yourself up and let yourself be guided into the direction you should be going.  Our path in life has been mapped out for us...we just have to listen and accept where we are supposed to be going.  And at the end of the day say thanks for guiding me to the right place.